Top 40 Humorous Quotes and Sayings

He who binds to himself a joy Does the winged life destroy; But he who kisses the joy as it flies Lives in eternity’s sun rise. Here are some best funny quotes and sayings.

Funny Quotes | Wisdom Fighters | IMQFT

He who binds to himself a joy Does the winged life destroy, But he who kisses the joy as it flies Lives in eternity’s sunrise. Here are some best funny quotes and sayings.

01. Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are. — Will Ferrell

02. I don't need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning. — Anonymous

03. If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me. — Anonymous

04. Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it's a brighter day. — Anonymous

05. When nothing is going right, go left. — Anonymous

06. Mosquitoes are like family. Annoying but they carry your blood. — Anonymous

Funny Quotes | Wisdom Fighters | IMQFT

07. I changed my password everywhere to 'incorrect.' That way when I forget it, it always reminds me, 'Your password is incorrect.' — Anonymous

08. When you wake up at 6 in the morning, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's already 6:45. When you're at work and it's 2:30, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's 2:31. — Anonymous

09. I wish my wallet came with free refills. — Anonymous

Funny Quotes | Wisdom Fighters | IMQFT

10. Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you. — Anonymous

11. 80% of boys have girlfriends... Rest 20% boys are having brain. — Anonymous

12. My prince is not coming on a white horse... He's obviously riding a turtle and definitely lost. — Anonymous

13. You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared! — Anonymous

14. My wallet is like an onion, opening it makes me cry. — Anonymous

Funny Quotes | Wisdom Fighters | IMQFT

15. If you're hotter than me, then that means I'm cooler than you. — Anonymous

16. When a door closes another door should open, but if it doesn't then go in through the window. — Anonymous

17. My six pack is protected by a layer of fat. — Anonymous

18. God is really creative, I mean.. just look at me!☺ — Anonymous

19. Don't worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet. — Anonymous

20. In the morning I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the evening I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the night I can't sleep.. I'm so hungry! — Anonymous

21. When the past comes knocking, don't answer. It has nothing new to tell you. — Anonymous

22. My room is like the Bermuda triangle, stuff goes in and is never seen again. — Anonymous

23. Waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn, hardest thing in the world. — Anonymous

24. Video games are actually the only legal place to kill stupid people! — Anonymous

25. A relationship without trust is like a cell phone with no service, all you can do is play games. — Anonymous

26. They say "don't try this at home" so I'm coming over to your house to try it. — Anonymous

27. I never let my schooling interfere with my education. — Anonymous

28. Never laugh at your wife’s choices… you are one of them. — Anonymous

29. Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise, they won't come to yours. — Yogi Berra

30. For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain. — Anonymous

31. If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success? — Jerry Seinfeld

32. Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door. — Kyle Chandler

33. If one child makes you a parent more than two children must make you a referee. — Anonymous

34. I'm not lazy, I'm on energy saving mode. — Anonymous

35. You can never buy Love... But still you have to pay for it! — Anonymous

36. If money grew on trees, then girls would be dating monkeys. — Anonymous

37. Dear Lord, there is a bug in your software... it's called Monday, please fix it. — Anonymous

38. Life is too short smile while you still have teeth. — Anonymous

39. If I steal church's wi-fi, will I receive the signal from God? — Anonymous

40. There's like 7 billion people in this world and no one wants to date me. I hate this world. — Anonymous



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Wisdom Fighters: Top 40 Humorous Quotes and Sayings
Top 40 Humorous Quotes and Sayings
He who binds to himself a joy Does the winged life destroy; But he who kisses the joy as it flies Lives in eternity’s sun rise. Here are some best funny quotes and sayings.
Wisdom Fighters
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